old poems

Standby

2007-03-13T19:09:00.000-07:00

Sitting in my car

I see the yellow truck pull up

I turn to look

yes there you are, beside me

fixing me with that stare
from behind those dark aviator glasses
that brooding downward expression
furrowed brow, set jaw
It’s hard to turn away
but as the cars start to move
I put my car in gear and drive on

and when we pull away, I don’t get out
when I do, I don’t go upstairs
instead I stand at the railing
watching the white crests of the waves
breaking as we go

twelve

2007-03-13T18:09:00.000-07:00

(for Richard)

I picture you at twelve

at your father’s funeral
crew-cut and awkward
in your big suit
I wish I’d known you then
I would have put my arms around you
and taken away the pain
not a man yet
not a little boy either
just a form, a shape
of the man to come
if I could have erased the hurt, the loss

would you have loved me then

Harrowing

2007-03-12T15:11:00.000-07:00

a tight rope stretched
across the glistening water.
she would get up on it again
and again
never to reach the other side
only occasionally making it
into the safety net
did you even see
the panic
you created in her eyes?
you, who built beautiful towers,
only to leave them
lying
crumbling
in ruins.

R. Laban

Ways

2007-03-12T08:52:00.000-07:00

she sits listening
to the sounds
all around her
the squeaks of the old
walls where she lives
humming
and the antennae wire hitting the window
the sounds out there
the sounds in here
people talking to her
him telling her he loves her
and then taking it back
in a thousand ways

R. Laban

Women

2007-03-12T08:23:00.000-07:00

I think about the women
I played with as a child
the ones we made believe we were
Debbie Reynolds, Elizabeth Taylor
the ones we play now
lover,singer, muse
the women in the next room
black leotard, gold earrings
lips moving
window full of snow
closet full of dreams
houseful of sorrows

La Vagabonde

2007-03-12T07:05:00.000-07:00

(dedicated to Colette)

As she takes off her costume
she contemplates
life's meaning
strife in the Middle East
and next door
her next meal
why he had to leave
what she has to fear
and the destination of
a small solitary
tear rolling
down the side of her face
and onto the table
where she sits
and stares
as she takes off her costume

R. Laban

Destination unknown

2007-03-11T11:36:00.000-07:00

been stationed here
six nites
how much longer
do we have to wait
for reinforcements
to sit in the shade of the Sun
and cry at the Moon
Encouragement takes
many forms
just a word
a mere inflection
detection from
disguise
disgust

Strands

2007-03-11T11:25:00.000-07:00

I awake and see our hair
lying on the pillow
together
the same dark color
intwined
indistinguishable
from each other

A short

2007-03-11T11:19:00.000-07:00

a picture
of an old woman
rests in my memory
tho i don't know
if i ever met her
i felt her disguise
her demise
as my own

Closing

2007-03-10T11:46:00.000-08:00

you come in late
and wait around
for the place to close
sometimes you look impatient
people leave
with their new-found loves
I study your face
those eyes
that started it all

Driving home

2007-03-09T19:51:00.000-08:00

Encased
in your Volkswagon
you grumble
about the distance
to drive me home
and I think of
how far
we have really gone
the vibrations
of the car
on the bumpy road
jar me back
and I feel you hand
on my thigh
and I wonder why I go on
loving you

R Laban

After leaving

2007-03-09T08:34:00.000-08:00

I walk down the steps
and halfway up the block
the comparisions began
you creep in
you who was suppossed
to be erased
washed away
stand bold
as bright
as the color red
next to a
pale yellow

R. Laban

Pursuit

2007-02-16T18:52:00.000-08:00

Don't you know

you were in pursuit

the day you were born

you've been in pursuit

all you life

making space station like

stops whenever it seemed necessary

I've batched you

going ninety miles

an hour and trying

to hide your chagrin

at being stopped

And your daily practice

your daily pursuit

of the pulse

So, when you

fly by me in pursuit

it comes as no surprise

Time

2006-07-10T19:57:00.000-07:00

(for you, Leo)

Feel as tho
I'm drowning
at times
bobbing up & down
above/below
don't you know
what a single word
expression, sound
can do?
I think you can
see the effects
of fright
of freezing and the ultimate flight
as I go thru my changes
and you do thru yours
life rearranges
and I get weary of the spiraling road
turn, and burns
can heal with time
if we can find it
eighth note triplets,
quarters or whatever

Reel to Reel

2006-07-08T11:18:00.000-07:00

1
No more glorious receptions
for you
the decptions
are real
The morning is almost here
and the sun is setting
purple red
somewhere else

2
You can't play with me baby
till they write the rules
the script has been changed
no ones seen the maid
my body seeks yours
and love hides in funny places

3

Loneliness
i say loneliness
yes i've known loneliness
and it's know me
and love
is hiding away from her
The bitch
streetwalker
nitecrawler
home sweet home and blue

4
Fire
roaring
like a mama lion
walking down the street
int he heat of summer
sweet dreams
and i just want
to feel real fine again

The Refrigerator Poem

2006-07-07T11:31:00.000-07:00

The whole reason
why this is all so weird
is that i can't
hug you or kiss you
everytime i want to
like for instance
the other day
when you were
standing in front
of the refrigerator
like you always do
i would've
undressed you
if only
i felt
comfortable
with just that
thought

Come on sun

2006-07-06T11:29:00.000-07:00

hurt & worth
and words like
value and importance
and matters of consequence
they sure sound good
but all I want from you now
is some solace
all i want is
for you to tell me
what's for breakfast
don't let me starve
there's a loaf of bread
or two unbaked
waiting too
wanting too

Nightcrawler

2006-07-05T12:04:00.000-07:00

It walked right up
to me, tapped me
on the shoulder
and forced me to look
into its smiling face again
those feelings
forced into
the open air and sun
and then those teeth
those shining smiling teeth
came down so fast
into the soft flesh
of my neck and shoulder
that the air was
suddenly cold
as the blood
dripped down
onto the pavement
and it was night

R. Laban

Yo Ro

2006-07-04T11:28:00.000-07:00

When I was a kid
i used to hesitate
couldn't roller skate
i don't like
to talk on the phone
now and I know
you can't possible
give me what i want
a blood transfusuion
every 24 hours
is alot to ask
but as the pain
increases and subsides
i realize many things
about my being
about my self

Bedroom Eyes

2006-02-16T18:47:00.000-08:00

someone,

a man

once told me

when I was

eleven or twelve

that I had bedroom eyes

I can't remember

if i knew what he was talking about

but now

walking into

my bedroom

I look in the mirror

and see blue eyes with

a lot of white under them

and a slightly tired look

6/10/77

Gypsy girl

2006-01-04T00:00:00.000-08:00

Dance, Dance
little gypsy girl
Dance
While you got a chance
prance, prance
black & white bay
and gallopping bison

9/16/75